Been there done that... been the bad man.. been hated and fated for hiding the truth... conscience is long gone boss.. cant understand is it vengeance or penance i seek... my fist clenches in agony but the best i can do is to keep my cool and crack it open instead of acting like a fool... Feel like putting a finger down my throat and taking the pain off....as sugegested by "Who" is this what life is... is life all about partial truths and white lies.... is it all about making decisions...

I find it rather hard to keep up with responsibilities, does that necessarily mean am a coward.. i guess i just down wanna grow up anymore... i dont want these days to just go by trying to living upto other's expectations.... i wanna rise out of myself first before i rise upto them....could've been easier on me if you can pretend as the person i wanted you to be instead of you forcing me to be the person you want me to be..... forgot the taste of "carefree"ness.....

Whats rising within me i dunno, neither do i know what i need and what i want... i just keep regressing the name i brought to myself... as days go by everything is striking me back like a boomerang... dunno whom to trust and whom do i not.... and what do i trust the person with...??!!

Wounds i've taken and given...all of them,everything is coming into account now, its time for the inevitable. Something, a force of some kind is drawing things towards the end... but the end of what... there are too many paths converging... insecurity strikes me big time and all my options seem only like an escape route... kicked out of my comfort zone against my will.... i cant seem to find the conspiracy cosmos is playing this time.... Fear taking over me with every breath... self control or loosing myself what seems more appropriate i have no effing clue....

Flipped inside out... I am not what i was meant to be anymore, i only see faces, i dont see people anymore.... sometimes i dont make sense but i am not gonna try to convince people who are turning their back on me... or even people stabbing me in the back....
Guess i just need to wait and see whats in store for......

patience

The god given virtue to men.... men who stand against evil, corrupted minds and girl friends..... Too many things to do.... but i guess keeping calm also has adverse effects on the opposite person, they may freak out more or maybe give up.... patience is bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. And hell yeah iv'e done all of it.... Sometime you doubt yourself... sometime you feel that is the opposite blind or just refuses to see??
I mean c'mon.......
I guess patience is what pays... is patience bearing a pain in the abdomen for 6 years or is patience waiting for an event for 3 years... or not forgetting an event for 7 years... or ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.
Whatever it maybe, it is the answer to most problems, i guess patience increases your dependence on higher influences.... higher could be anything......
Not being yourself for a whole lotta time to convince someone about the person your not requires a lot of patience too... Standing in the line of burger king or even to get a ticket to a new movie.....
Patience is the key, quietly preserve all the overwhelming anxities.....
Get up and stand up and take a vow, a vow that you shall be patient in life, do not make hasty decisions, wait for nature to take its own course and meanwhile patiently make your efforts to make that course your goal.....
Take your time, you have your whole life and you know what do you wanna do with it....

strings

ok.... Good ol' God.... how have u been... i've been doin pretty dam good so far....do u remember sending those shooting stars?? well i do, coz i wished on them.... and i thought i'd remind you my wishes haven't come true.... so you know.... i think you should do something, coz there were like 3 shooting stars and i wished the same thing upon them.... ya.. so please make them like come true or something :D

lol.....

anyway... so do you think everything that happens is part of a master-plan by some superior entity / power / force....... Do u really..?? i mean do you believe that everything is controlled from some point by someone... like forgetting something in your car and making two trips and realizing on the way the that you forgot your charger in the car and getting it right away and saving a third trip.... do you think THAT could all have been planned..?
picking up someone else's trash off the road and putting it away or writting a blog... are currently my actions pre-planned...???
is what am writing already written somewhere....
something to think about... :-/

SO, if all of this is planned it better be one kick-ass plan so that everything ends up to be worth all the pain taken.... and i hope my dreams coming true also be a part of that plan...lol......
fuck i cant stop using lol....
well s&^t happens ;)
Well planned or not "i m i m i m i m i m i ma do my thing"
pl be yourself or least is be like me :P
\m/

define pain....
is it " highly unpleasant physical sensation caused by illness or injury" or " mental suffering or distress"...... or is it the feeling within your knees and ankles after working 14hrs or is it when someone you love causes distress.......
the question is what do you perceive from this... is it the emotion that causes the trouble or the cause...???
The greatest victory one can achieve is the victory over pain... it could range from anything from pain in your tooth to pain in the ass..... The sense of satisfaction of overcoming a pain is greater than the pain itself....
Sometimes a pain is caused by wounds, wounds which would never heal. I've heard wise people quote "time heals all wounds..." does it...
Time is nothing but a God given way to measure your pain...Believe me you... This co-relation is very crucial.
5% of the people in this world consider time also to be a dimension, then wouldn't pain also be a dimension. Stupid anyway....
I've been doin a hella lotta stuff daily...
Now i fuckin hate star wars BTW because of Mr.Skywalker, not the character.
How many of you have observed that 60% of the questions a girl says are RHETORICAL...
Like "I thought we were friends" or "ok so what" or even a simple "Ok..?"
Your'e in a catch-22 situation, sometimes changing the topic helps, like try talking about them, but careful, you might end up triggering other questions like "what do you think" or most obvious ones like "are you listening" the most tricky one is "Am i boring you..."
Its a pain man.... ;)
and the worst thing about pain is the other person tells u "don't hurt yourself.."

life at 7

Ok... worked till like 9 change last night, and was dealing with a broken car till two something past midnight... and now back to the JQFS... greeting people, sometimes i wonder does super enthusiastic greeting and pep talk work... i mean what if i was actuallly making people's day better... its such a wonderful feeling to make a difference... i love to see people smile and laugh... i wanna do tht all the time... like bob market said don't worry about a thing, every loittle thing's gonna be alright... today morning i felt something i haven't in a while... the chilly warm wind Nd the soft sun.... they are such an awesome thing..., people who wake up every morning wouldn't know about it.... i woke up before seven AM after a real long time and man its beautiful... grass seemed greener, sun seemed softer, wind was cooler, most people smiling and walking their dogs... a new experience for me....
Mornings man, have become exotic to me now, am like OOH morningsss..., a decade ago it'd wake up by now and be peddeling my way to school... getting the bottom of my pant really dirty each and every day.... good old days... i have realized how time changes everything.... nothing is spared... no one is spared... but i gues it also amiss you wiser, more patient and more composed....
Wonder what happened to all the innocence and purity though, i guess that is the cost we paid to get wiser....

Ok i have the dark side now... have people ever noticed the perks in the darker side... they are so tempting.... i am not saying am into the light now and stuff but am in the grey's... i guess most of us are.... i have made some decisions and did some actions which have proved their worth to me now... long pending decisions, and long dude actions.... i guess they served their purpose... am sure it was high time.... had to be...
i dont say that its always important to please your own appetite but how long does one bend down and kiss ass.... i guess people love to commit the same mistaked over and over again... i exactly mean what i say... they dont fukin know when to stop and when to change their fuckin ways.... i have realized i have very boldly used the f-word a couple of times but i dont effin care...i have my own ways of life, my own priorities and stuff... i decide who is how important to me and who can tel me what to do or what not to do.... i am the creator of my world... my world has to be exactly how i want.... coz if pretend there to fit in somewhere else there is no point.... we're all criminals... we murder our thoughts and opinions and self respect to FIT IN.....
dont give a crap about the world if ur different man.... mould it the way you want it... The only way out and only way infact is to be yourself.... That gives you less to blame on others... that way you are responsible for your own actions and in exchange you are actually keeping others happy too....
Two birds in one shot.......
Guys plz plz plz...try not giving a f@#$ :D
thats the way \m/

what did we want?

People are programmed in their heads, to expect something... It is like a ghost code... a daemon process... its inevitable... no matter how random things may appear, someone involved somewhere at some point has to be waiting for something.... expectations need not be from just a person... it could be from anything... Even God for that matter.... You perform rituals and pooja's and so on and expect that God will answer to your prayers... Well friends...reality check.... i guess one cant bribe God... if he was corruptible he wouldn't have been God... Yielding is very easy but am sure God wouldn't.... anyway back to expectations...
So WHAT DID WE WANT.... is my question.... we came up with nuclear energy but what did we want the, the 436 nuclear power plants or 23000 nuclear weapons...
So far its only been about the world, lets take this topic to a more personal level..
So what did we expect when we set on this journey, journey over here i mean, the journey you have embarked, or mine or anyone else... All of us are on some journey... We all started on one road and have been trying all exits or parallel routes or faster routes.... Sometimes when we don't get what we wanted we tend to take escape routes... we feel the need to deviate from that particular 'need'....
We all have been warned about all the hurdles... we all have thought over this a zillion times but have consciously taken up this journey.. I think i exactly knew what was gonna happen by the end of my journey, and i guess i was right... i knew nothing would turn out the way i had imagined and i am right....
I have been lost, burnt, hurt, loved, liked, appreciated, discriminated, ignored and what not... but i guess the only thing that keeps me going is the same thought...
"WHAT DID WE WANT??"

Vivek-ananda Rock...!!!!!

Listening to silence... Yes thats what i've been trying to do... but i think the closest is juss sitting with your fan's off, windows shut and AC down....
But anyway its too hot for me to do any of that... its crazy hot out here.... piercing dry heat.... You physically start to feel the heat... like a weight on you...like an added 10lbs over you... Walking in the sun is like getting whipped...
The things that i've tried to ease my soul.. A small time of my life i think has a;ways been dedicated to find a safety spot where i can go ease my soul.. Not just geographical place but also mental places... I remember i used to go to a place about half a mile from my place, i used to go there on my first motorcycle, I used to go there and just sit on this one rock, and just sit there...
I used to feel comfortable on that rock, the tree's behind me silently swinging to the slight warm wind, and patches of yellow grass glowing in the setting sun... I felt so comfortable, it felt in peace there, i saw myself sitting is my heaven kinda thing.... ok funny thing, i kinda sound exactly like how Vivekananda felt for the "Vivekananda Rock"
for those who dont know what i am talking about Vivekananda was a great prophet spiritual guy who was spreading his words of wisdom and peace. He used to go a place called kanyakumari which is the southern tip of India, and where the 3 water bodies meet, Indian ocean, bay of bengal and the arabian sea, and he had a rock just off the shore.. He used to sit there and meditate comfortably in the evening, he had something for that rock... and hence it was later on called Vivekananda rock...
Yeah so my 'Vivek'ananda rock was that one by the fields. I am sure by now everyone has a picture of what i am saying, and have started to recollect what your "Vivekananda rock" was.... Take a moment.... dont pass out pondering...
and feel the comfort... have you ever made conscious effort to go to that point... i realized i did... i always wanted a safe spot in my life... everyone finds it different places... some by closing their eyes and imagining they are in switzerland... or the himalayas... or in their lovers lap.... or in some field... safe spots are the relief you need from daily chores and troubles.... ok......
so on this note, i wanna take off to my wonderland......
keep it hoooked :)

Always Finalist

Yes my friends.. yet again its time... and time is 4.20AM... i hadn't got a chance to catch an eye yet... but eeh you know the usual timing... Anyway... I realized i have been chasing a something so far in my life for actually nothing. I used to think there was something in the something i was chasing but trust me it was nothing. I guess nothing satisfies the addiction to "more" coz the more you want something the more the "more" feeling increases.. its like fighting a pig ,the more dirtier the fight the more the chances that the pig will win.
I have had enough of just being always a finalist, yeah that is what i see my life as... trust me even in some major cases it was like "ah shit if only u came earlier" or "if only we met earlier" or "shit if i had spoken then".... yeah i think my life has always been like this... and the fun of being a finalist is atleast i fought till the end... you can say that if you wanna see the glass half-full. And yes i cant give anything up easily man... That is a major issue too... Maybe i need to calm down in life and just realize i have a grip, but i am numb... my hands are like those of the G.I.Joe action figures... i cant hold-on to present life and i cant leave my past.
I am not sure i am not the only one...yaa am not the only one... this path i am goin on may not be the path that says "Danger" on it but i do doubt it sometime if this path is the one that takes me to my destination.
Well i contemplate that too... whether if i know my destination. Coz to me it definitely looks like my destination is a random variable with no limits :)
I think i realize the weight of things only when i outshine myself.. like i wouldn't realize how nice it is to get a A+ till i get one...coz i m sure i'd be more comfortable with being just the finalist.....
Self satisfaction has become such a big obligation to me now, i wanna do it but i don't wanna do it coz its against myself to be selfish or self-righteous. Its like a hostess snow ball, i love it..for its texture but i hate it for its taste....
Sometimes i feel i have trouble to break the ice between me and the different me's i find between myself... there are parts of you... thoughts in your head you want to embrace... things you wanna do... person you wanna be or what not... i think i have communication problem with those me's...takes me time to change.... thats the logical explanation i guess....


love
\m/

pink memories

is there anybody in there..??
just not a couple of words that form the first sentence to one of the greatest songs ever written., but that line actually holds something for everyone. People are actually going numb with pride, prejudice, self-righteousness and what not. People are totally oblivious to the life they were supposed to live. A life without complications, politics not the politics of countries but politics between friends...a world where you can never have to worry about tricking someone to get into some kind of a situation.
I think by now most of us have come into so many situations which demand us to either be the scape goat or make someone one. You know u see the truth from the corner of your eye but you act as though you have telescopic vision.
We all are comfortably numb now...a'int we.....
I was once told "close your eyes, take a deep breath and with every time you breath see the WHITE LIGHT growing within you" Ok now honestly try it and tell me how many of you saw the white light grow and how many of you saw a black void.... trust me guys as kid i swear i saw the white light, and its not there anymore no matter how blank i get my mind to be and i try it, i still see the black void....
How many people do you think enjoy silence... does anyone remember "pin drop silence" i cannot even recollect a moment of "pin drop silence" in my life, its funny....
or maybe its just that our life is too long to remember for us. I mean at any given point i am sure it is way too long to remember no matter how old you are.
I can barely exactly recollect one whole series of events within the last one year.
Having a faint memory or an idea of what happened doesnt count. Now can you recollect till when does your exact memory period lie on....?
in the sense like week ago, 2 weeks ago or something like that
I'd say 3 days ago
Go for it... i really wanna know.....
and people say getting lost within memories is easy.. I say losing memories is easier...
I dont remember the feeling of seeing the morning sunshine when i was younger... the look of black clouds....
I now think the almighty is someone with a wicked sense of humor, who pushes the practical jokes to the limit, you know what i mean......
You cant wear him out... neither his visions for you will change....
My life was probably like a "friends / who's the boss" kinda sitcom and now i feel my life is like the gross comedy kinds like "bruno / family guy or the weird episodes of south park"
they aren't as fun.....
anyway its late and have to get back to slavery early tomorrow
peace guys
:)

Love laptop LOL and leaves

thank you, thank you, thank you...far too kind..... am finally back after ages.... i freakin MISS blogging and believe me you... i do.... weird figure of speech rite.... believe me you... like cave-man type vocabulary... believe me you... me get wood... me make fire.... lol
ok "lol" my new enlightenment... lol is such a powerful thing man... you can say fuck off to a person on his/her face and juss follow it up with lol....
anyway so yes... i guess there are thoughts in your head about the title of the blog post... i dont know how many of you are really bothered but well here we go
LOVE - there are two kind of people in the world.. who believe in love and who dont... believe me you..lol.... anyway ya love could be a shit load of bull-crap, love could be wiping a big snort out of ur nose on someone else's shirt... love could be hating someone to keep them happy.... love could be massaging someone's back when your feet hurt like crap... love could be the only thing that drives you crazy even literally... it could drive you to insanity... and i realized my love is my laptop...
I cant stay away from it, i love it way too much...and the reason i dint blog all these days was because i didn't have my laptop... and because i was departed from my laptop i realized how much i loved it... i was gonna get senti about it and say "Oh.. i miss "her" so much"... people would say that... to their bikes and cars or other stuff.... anyway... ya i miss my laptop like crazy man... i cant take a dump without my laptop thats how much i miss her...lol.....
(try to catch the irony)
i loved it man, i woke up to it, i slept with it,... i fed it noodles, rice and what not... i used it as a pad... i used as a bat... i used it for what not... it was a part of me... i felt my laptop's pain... you know how your laptop heats up when its on your lap...the laptop's in pain and u too beacuse of the heat....
i love my laptop PERIOD
ok now leaves........
let me leave it there...
ok now lets discuss me... life has been going extremely fast man... its like it was today yesterday and today its yesterday..... job's been keeping me busy... not that am braggin but am making good dough..... its fun man,.... now i dont need to worry about anything except for finding time to spend it.....
but ya at times i do get a feeling that i've totally lost my social life.. i dont party, or hang out much, but best part of being busy is am getting without doing my chores :D
hehehe
and well what else.... hmmmm missing India like crazy nowadays.... specially my family and my dog... guys who dont know bonzo... i feel bad for u.... go know him... he is the most genuinely sweet person in the world... he is probably also smarter than me.....
i dunno where all i've been travelling through this blog.... i guess juss like a verbal diarrhea....
chalo anyway before i loose track...am gonna bounce.... plz plz plz try to gather some energy and leave comments... lazy buggers...

Summer has come

Temperature is rising guys... looks like summer is just around the corner... you know at times you can classify or categorize people by even seasons... there are the summer people and there are the winter people... i even know people who eagerly wait for monsoon... Somewhere you know categorizing people makes life easier...

There are faces you juss give a smile... you know strangers you come across daily.. they dont exactly remain strangers, but neither are they your acquaintances.
And, then there are your Hi-Bye friends.. the type of people you see everyday and its just a "Hi" or "wassup" or "later..."

Then there are your friends, the one's you know are there and you meet them once in a while, unlike the above two categories, they know you to an extent and you know them to an extent..and through these guys you have another set that comes up which i refer to as obligatory friends, i.e., friends of "just friends"... people whom you dont really enjoy meeting but you h ave to meet them...

Then there are friends who are good friends, people whom you come across frequently and know them pretty well but ya you have your own boundaries.... these guys are the type whom you dont mind meeting daily.. neither not meeting daily.... coz you know you will take off from the point where you last left..

Then there comes another sect of people who were in the previous category but ditched you at some point of time but then patched up... these are the tricky ones... one is never sure to whether or not to take off at the point you guys changed tracks...

And then there are the type of friends whom you really trust, they are not necessarily the best of friends but you and them are really close.. you share stuff, you are comfortable around them and vice-versa...

Then are the real friends, the ones whom you trust with your life, the guys who you know will not judge you for whatever you are, the guys whom you know will stand by you and let you be yourself, these are the people that matter to me the most, they are the ones who will get me through and i know it from the bottom of my heart. And they are the ones who can make you the happiest or hurt you the most...
Someone once told me your friends are either in your head or in your enemies...
I dunno how true it is.. but these were the types of friends i have...
and crazy me gives friends more importance than most other friends...
sometimes for good and sometimes in vain...
Well a friends in need is a friend indeed......
\m/

A 7 hr drive to San Francisco and back...396 miles... but very fruitful i guess it was worth it...seeing my friend and their folks so happy...
Life is now about to change...a drastic change am guessing.. no more late night karaoke's, no more sutta's in balcony or on the couch, no more smokanalia in the shack... but i guess everything happens for a reason and this time its KRANTI....
for those who dunno what it means it means revolution ;)
Life's lot more easier when you dont have to do chores trust me... I miss being hella lazy... Leave the glasses on the table, not washing plates, not doing the dishes, not mopping the kitchen...
I hate it when people say "Mama, full on you're enjoying in the USA"... dude in the great country of US of A, You gotta work hard man....
Work at gas stations, taking orders, answering to your boss/owner, filling beer in the cooler, greeting people over and over again the same lines "Hi how r u doin today?", "how can i help you?", "anything else i can help you with", "Thank you have a nice day".....
Fill propane bare hands, the propane burns... they suck dude....
and again go fill up the cooler, then sweep and mop the whole store clean...
and other than that the cash register, a little here and there and the owner is all over you...
who says USA is fun man, am living the dream ain't I....
and all of this for 7 dollars an hour... its not fun man.....
Was living like a king in India, My family bike, car, pet, friends, lots of food, fast food, band and what not....
But then at the end of the day it was my decision to come here, to do Masters in Computer Science.... And here i am, in a small town in the middle of the central valley, travelling 320 miles (roundtrip) to school, working at a gas station, eating one dish with rice for two or three meals... living off top-ramen for days....
But ya i learnt a lotta stuff... Like the essence of Independence and freedom, I realized what responsibilities are.. I learnt the value of money and time... I realized how much people loved me and how much we meant to one and other.... I realized what trust is and who true friends are.... i learnt not to trust people so easily.... not even if you thought they were YOUR people.... anyway

Is the juice worth the squeeze... I guess only time will tell....

Like a great man once said " I really haven't had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I'd rather tell a story about somebody else."
I DONT WANNA BE IN THAT SITUATION......

I aint gonna spend my time, wondering why... these were the words ringing inside a clogged head... A slimy sense in my thoughts by now... feel like digging it out... and every time i sneeze its like a blow torch.... Feel so tied up man....
Anyway no more about my cold :D
Life seems to be good at one thing Changing... its like life has an OCD... it has to change... it always catches you off gaurd.... like with jobs, grades, studies, money.... everything always has to change suddenly specially the moment you start to feel safe....
Other than that i have been thinking a lot about religion, life and afterlife lately... there are times when you think that your soul is bruised, like some incident or event...so do you think your soul carries on the pain to your next form... and does afterlife actually depend on religion..?
The definition of heaven changes as you drift across different ideologies... All your blessings and sins...rights and wrongs differ.... You can stay too long on a firm decision for too long with so many axioms....am not even sure if axioms is appropriate to use here,.... but hell...its my blog........no shiv sena here i guess..... think and leave a comment over this.... make a mental note.....
There are so many things to actually sit and ponder over.. or even stumble over... thats my latest addiction... try stumbling futurism, independent films or i never tried this one but you can actually stumble over babes...??!!!@@##$%%
anyway so my friends i have nothing more to share rite now... so am gonna take off....
tc \m/

Ok i dont know whats wrong with the whole self righteousness thingy... always comes up man... always.... specially when your out there, by yourself having a smoke.... you think of so much stuff... like today i was thinking.. how things would have been if i weren't where i was now... like what if i had done something different at some point and how a small alteration in the past would change the whole string of events of your future, not like time travel, but a decision, like to sit in the first bench or the last bench... to dare enter the canteen in first year or not..... to jump a fence and go to movies......like what if i decided to sit in the fourth bench instead of the second bench my friends would have been different... i wouldn't have been to places i'd been.. i wouldn't have met people i have met and be with people i am now.... but at what cost... is it worth it, considering all that is done and happening now..... that is one instance....
Ok what if i didn't take up b.tech or never would've bought my karizma... and stuff....
Everyone am sure has always for once wondered how things would've been if you had taken a different decision....
and this when my topic of self righteousness comes up... you think nah i was right am sure what is happening is what was supposed to happen and you trust yourself that you always take the right decision and in my case "JUMP" into the right decison, so i realized from next time I need to take more time, think well and take a decision.. like right turn, STOP LOOK PROCEED......
Other than that, lately i've been working and sleeping a lot.... i have no clue to what time zone my body clock is set to or should i say to what time zone is which part of my body clock set to (If you know what i mean)
sorry couldn't resist pulling off that one....
And yeah the whole kasab case had caught my attention, Such a huge thing man, am kinda glad and proud of Indian Judiciary System, but not sure of how the death sentence is being carried out... i heard someone somewhere say - his death should be made an example for other terrorists.... and i think he was right...
Anyway i think its important we all think and take decisions, and but also be a little self righteous, i think it's a little necessary in the 21st century....
On a weird note... I'd like to take leave....
take care you guys
and pl comment and leave your rating for iron man 2

Ok.. freakin rainy days are depressing man... didn't feel like doing nothing, i even told a guy who came for propane to go away... i hate rain man... its all cold and wet and blue black everywhere.... people going around in dirty shoes and shirts with remains of rain drops on them... coming in and saying "Dams its raining crazy!!!"
Anyway worst thing, one of my car wiper is not working well you know.. its kinda floppy... anyway am sure you know what am talking about.. its like its doing its job but so freakin clumsy.... leaves such a bad vision for you man, i feel so restricted while driving in these conditions...
Anyway i got off work early... and i didn't know what to do... first you think yay am off early... then you think... dude no one is around actually, you know everyone else is working... sad man.... but well i got back home and made Noodles... Staple food(with some personal additions)...
You know sometimes there are so many thoughts you wanna process and express at the same time..its funny... its like deware of bogs.... you know you want the other guy to know that he has to be scared of dogs but its like you were so scared while painting that sign on the wall that you got it wrong... get it...
think about it.....
anyway on that note... lets keep thinking and continuing to take things
c ya later folkssss

next is what?!

Aurrite last couple of days were "DIFFERENT" i got to work quite some time at a gas station, Chevron.... It is different from the shell i used to work at..
oh and all of u iphones and droid users... now even i use a touch screen......... yeah... my cash register has a touch screen...lol.... i know lame as fudge..
Have been busy man.. u know... working... I remember those days when i had no work and put up a bob marley wallpaper on my desktop too... it said "Jah-bless" though it meant ya-bless....An inside joke with myself..... work is actually fun... meet all kinds of people... I couldn't believe all the people who got swishers... from like 18 to almost 50 i'd guess... people coming in and buying hell lotta snacks and swishers(flavoured cigars, used for the J's)
Its a different country man, all the way from the light bulbs to driving on the wrong side, i remember i kinda freaked out when i was in India for holidays... ya.....
anyway.... so ya, i also handle propane in my work, i feel like, when am out there filling propane i talk to people on a more personal level, i connect with them.... lol.... dunno whats the point but ya, while am filling propane it is like giving a personal touch to your customers....
all kinds of people man... i swear i saw this one chick, i was gonna try to hit on her(just kidding), but then like half a dozen kids walked into the store, so i thought i'll bill them first and talk to her, but turned out they were her kids... man its hard to estimate the age of women in this country, for all that u know someday you'd be hitting on your neighbor's aunt or something....
ok i cant help mention this but juss now i was typing neighbours for neighbors and it showed an error... what a weird country man...bending spellings..... UK english kick's ass.... juss the english nothing else about UK is good....
oh ya and probably chicks with a british accent... yeahh....
ok...
what else have i been upto... well i've been trying to get into some band... other than that.. i've had the most prolonged headache... i probably set a record or something man... my head was aching for almost 2 whole days...sgtraight.... i know it sucks....
its raining out here rite now... smells good... who all of u love the smell of rain... man i just like the smell of rain, aftermath sucks man.... i remember in India it rained everytime i waxed my bike....
yeah ok back to fresno, well i made chai... yeah i know.. i love making chai now man... am like a Black belt in making chai now... i can make chai with one hand now... that too left hand ;)
aurrite folks.....
am gonna be back soon with more intersesting stuff......

hmmm

remember the days we used to play games on our computers...not laptops mind you.. but computers.. the fun and how we had a good time... Now we just play songs while we read or browse or stumble... and usually i listen to it when am washing the dishes or even cooking... more or less most of the time... but yeah now all i do now most of time is do other stuff than playing games.... the last game i remember playing is need for speed most wanted... it was such a welcoming game.... kinda makes you feel like how you listen to jazz after lamb of god or disturbed... yeahhh.... it has nice tingly graphics... you know the kinda stuff that when you play you tend to turn and bend to the left when actually what you have to do is just press a button.... you feel like taking the full feeling of the game....
anyway i was suddenly reminded of the time we used to play roadrash... sitting on the edge of your little revolving chair.. using cheat codes... dam... and yeah pressing nitrous and kicking..... trying to snatch the cops club... and i used to play a lot of NFS-2 too.... with the ferrari f350, mc laren and those german track, Australian outback track... and some track set in the himalayas....
and i kinda relate those days to the MIDI files era... just like 8-bit musical version of all songs... sharing it around in floppy disks... i had a peculiar one called omeredlkechain.MIDI and i thought it was "o me red like chain" and then realized it was "o mere dil ke chain" the old song...
and then WAV files were a big thing.. i remember getting some random lame songs out of the digit magazine CD.... and playing the demo versions of all possible games that were on that CD.... phew.... long time eeh.... seems like it was decades ago... with prehistoric technology... bronze era....
anyhow... i kinda feel we lost the innocence in the way we thought about computers... like how we were happy thinking computers are just to watch movies you rent or just play games.... and now... we worry about so many things... like downloading movies, songs and softwares... anti virus... softwares for maintaining all of those... we lost the whole essence of using a computer....
dont u wish sometimes time didn't pass... or like you just be transported back to the 90's...
miss those days man...
yeah
on that note...
i'd like to say hasta la vista..............
............
baby ;)

Morning Raaga....

I hate waking up... specially to all of my stupid wake up alarm songs like Door se paas(musafir)...some song tenu le(jai veeru)... and then i hear Dil kya karey, jab kissi se.... i kinda feel weird when that plays,am like do i wake up or continue dreaming on that song ;)
but my dreams get shattered with the high voltage guitars of back in black (AC DC)
by this time am kinda angry and start to loose my sleep, and then next in line is James Hettfield going "Gimme fuel gimme fire gimme that which i desire... "
that wakes up Always......
Anyway i wake grumpy as always, wishing someone would serve me bed tea or coffee would've been fine too.... Decide to make some tea, which i've become very good at lately... i think making chai is an easy art, and an easy way to impress people... specially in India, and for those who dunno, In India especially in Hyderebad... Chai plays a very important role, We atleast have a dozen chai's spilt into halves or sometimes even three parts, between 3-4 friends... A common sight in an Irani Cafe(plz dont say cafe like Kafe, its more like Kafey...) So... yeah you would here people say or infact me or my frnz say "Chotu, Ek chai Do empty lana"
(note : in a irani cafe no matter how old the guy is, you call him chotu)
we call all of those spilt up chai's "CUTTING CHAI"
and the best thing that would go with the chai were the IRANI BISCUIT.... you'd ask for it as "Chotu, Biskit-aan lee aa" and ofcourse then we'd call for Gold Flake :D or MILDS :)
Anyway so thats how we'd have so many cha's and biscuits in a day, its more like a time pass, we'd spend hours in a Irani Cafe... Its Engineering Life for you, in Hyderbabd.....
Dam I miss Hyderabad....
Oh ya i forgot to mention you would definetly hear "Ashiq banaya" or some typical Himesh Reshamiya songs playing in t he background....lol....
anyway
hope u guys are able to experience all of that someday.... I wish i experience it soon too....
thats all for now folks
\m/

ok... am back...bitches....
where was i...ya in hayward.... juss finished watchin a Ram gopal verma horror flick...phoonk.... a decent attempt to rip off The Exorcist(1973).... sound FX pretty good... like 9/10.... as good as or better than what he gave for Bhoot... the kid did a pretty good job... and like shruthi said he blended the whole Indian black magic stuff with the exorcist story line pretty well.... Crows, cats and Dolls were cannonized.... poor things... but actually it was not exactly a typical stress reliever kinda movie after a 160mile drive... but watched it by choice :D
up next plannin to watch my new crush in her latest action/chick flick.... Whip it, featuring ellen page... btw it's directed by drew barrymore....
alrriiiiiiitey then.......
i kindaa like blogging
its like a blown up twitter i guess...
but i still dont like twitter...not juss coz SRK is in itt....
but that too
anyway
c ya later

Okay

okay... here i am... phinally... i made some time out of busy schedule to start blogging... goddamit i had to cut down like half hour of sleep from the day.....

what do people do in blogging.... is blogging even a word... i dunno... maybe... doesnt matter....

anyway.... ok....

here i am.... sleeping nice and comfy on the comforter :D i hear too much of commotion around me... i realize there were two alarms ringing... had to put in a lot of effort to open an eye and look around for the stupid phone and shut it off.. if it was a conventional alarm clock i would have taken a lot of pleasure in just throwing it really hard on the wall and hearing it die out beep beep beeep beeep beeeeeeppp beeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppppp..............

but then it was my phone....

i took the pain of waking up coz my back was aching too... i have to have a sore back or a sore neck everytime i wake up... its like i have to have a smoke before i sleep.... not a apt comparision... but doesnt matter.....

joblessly i start stumbling(for those who dunno,its stumbleupon.com) and decide to take a look at craigslist... and to my surprise i found some interesting stuff....

like a few bands that were luking for singers, some part time jobs, some people who were looking for a homo-sexual driver and all variety... PS i dint consider the last one, i didnt even bookmark it.....

now i m no mood to attend my database design class... juss feel like chillin... wish i was a lion.... i could sleep for like 20 hrs while the lioness would hunt... then wake up.. eat and fornicate.... and be called the King of the jungle.... Dammm!!!!!!

that reminds me i have to eat... such a big task when u'r away from home trust me....

btw am in hayward rite now... Not in fresno... kinda looking forward to go to fresno... i can work...chill and meet mary and her probably joanna too(the new kids i have to tutor)... lets see how things roll....

gotta bounce

like a great arab once said

PEACE :D